You're a womanizer and a bitch.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
