You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
