Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
