just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
