i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
