My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
