so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
