I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
