you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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