This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
