i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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