Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i dont even know how to be here
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
