So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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