she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
