North Korea, Best Korea!
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
