I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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