Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
