Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
