Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
