What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
