Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
