pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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