The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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