she is the kim kardashian of front butts
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
