Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
