He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
