my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
