you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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