My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
