So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
