Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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