shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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