i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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