While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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