She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Randomize
