I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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