On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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