Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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