dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Randomize
