You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
