I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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