Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
