so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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