just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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