By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
