You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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