i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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