walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I'm having to shit out rocks
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
