I smell stomach acid.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
