it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
