let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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