i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
