He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
