That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
